30 April 09
Recently a guy asked me if it’s possible to get out of the friends zone with a girl. There are mixed views on this, some people think it’s possible, some people don’t. From personal experience I can say it is definitely possible, as I’ve proven this to myself, but it is not easy. Back at high school I had an awesome social circle, a lot of people from back then are still a big part of my social circle now. I was friends with pretty much everyone, but friends was about as far as it went. I would pull the odd girl at school, but it was never consistent and got put in the ‘friend zone’ 95% of the time I tried to push for anything more.
I had learnt back then that once you were in the friend zone there was no getting out. That to be honest was the best advice I could have got back then instead of persistently trying to get a girl to become attracted to me as it would most likely have just driven her away more. So high school ended and I broke away from everyone at school. I kept in contact with my closest friends (10-15 at max) but everyone else at school just broke away. People went to uni, people moved etc. I had most people from school on Facebook, so could still keep in contact that way but that was about it. It was not long after I left school that I met Braddock & Mr M and things started to change drastically (you can read how I got in to it all here).
I was introduced to Mr M’s promotions company in London, and is also how I got to meet all the other top instructors like Vercetti, 5.0 and Sheriff. Surrounding myself with mentors like this literally skyrocketed my game to a higher plateau. I started travelling a hell of a lot with the other instructors on boot camps, promoting in the top clubs in London, endless pictures being tagged on Facebook with hot girls. Yet I didn’t realise what was going on in the eyes of people back home.
I had been hanging out with the guys for around 9months to a year before I actually went on a night out in my local area again. The number of girls that I spoke to that night who I used to be ‘friends’ with from school responded a lot differently to how they did back at school. My game had skyrocketed thanks to hanging around & learning from mentors such as Braddock, Mr M and the other instructors, they had seen pictures of me being tagged with hot girls, I was travelling a lot. I didn’t realise until then, the change that I had made. I ended up pulling one of the girls that I used to be ‘friends’ with back at school, and more followed as well as more to come I’m sure. This would not have happened if I kept seeing those girls everyday like I did back at school as this wasn’t enough time for me to change in their eyes, as well as actually change & improve myself. Think of it like working out, I go down the gym around 5 times a week with a good friend of mine. The same thing happened then, neither of us realised how much we had changed physically until we started seeing people we hadn’t seen in a while. They started commenting on how much we’d changed since school, and when we compared pictures of back then to now it was astonishing the change we’d made. But again, if we had seen those people everyday while we were going to the gym, the changes we’d made would have been so minimal that they would have gone unnoticed.
So what I hope you got from that is yes you can get out of the ‘friends zone’, but it takes time. You have to give it enough time before seeing a girl again to have been able to ‘change’ into an attractive guy that she could date, other than a nice guy she can be friends with. This doesn’t mean that you have to start travelling & posting pictures of you with hot girls on your Facebook, this is just what happened in my case without me knowing it was working. It does mean that you have to change though, if you’re the same person meeting her a year down the line, you’re probably going to get the same result. “Do what you’ve always done, get what you’ve always got.” My advice, if you’re in that situation with a girl at the moment, cut the thread, and wait at least 6 months+ before trying again. Unless you’re happy just being friends with a girl, to me that’s the way to do it, cut the thread and approach it differently later down the line when you have had the chance to change and become a more naturally attractive guy. It’s not easy, and there may be another way to go around it, but that’s what worked for me! Hope it helped anyone in the same situation I was in!