30 September 09
Daxx Love Systems – Learning Game Properly
I was speaking at the PUA Summit on the weekend and each guru that was speaking had to give a kiss close routine that they use.
I had a fair few guys attending the Summit ask me what my ‘best kiss close’ routine was and when was the best time to kiss. I told them all that now I hardly ever use a routine for a kiss close. If it is really on with a girl, then you don’t need a routine, and the idea of needing a routine to get a kiss from the girl doesn’t seem necessary if your game is tight enough. This isn’t saying that routines etc. don’t work because they do, and they work well, but once you’ve seen the best of the best out there, and untold naturals open girls, make out with girls, take girls home without any prepared material whatsoever, it makes a large shift in your head of what you thought was the way to talk to girls.
After learning the process of attracting girls for the past few years I know an endless amount of ‘kiss close routines’ that I have learned from guys. I have used kiss close routines and know a lot of them do work, but after hanging around a group of naturals back home, none of them have ‘kiss close routines’, let alone that, none of them even worry about when to kiss, they just do it. I’m trying to get my game really on the natural path now, because having routines & material that you practice & learn is great for training wheels if you’re new to this and want to get comfortable speaking to random girls you’ve never met. It’s also good to have as ammo for your arsenal if you’re running out of things to say, but seeing those naturals go out with no canned material, no set thing to say, each set being different, and majority of the time each go home with a girl it was clear to see that so much of getting good at this area of life comes down to your mindsets and what’s going on in your head rather than what’s coming out of your mouth. This isn’t saying routines and material you’ve prepared doesn’t work because it does, and works well. But what used to make me get caught up in my head more than anything else was reading a million eBooks, watching and listening to everything I could find, and trying to remember all of these different routines and set things to say, having routine stacks prepared, then getting into set and my head would overload with information and forget what I was going to say and would end up fucking up! Sound familiar? It’s one of the most common things I hear from guys when they’re starting out, and a lot of the time it’s what’s stopping them from making any real success! It’s good to learn the material that is out there, but going out and stressing yourself over what to say instead of going out and enjoying yourself is a big difference. I definitely wouldn’t enjoy myself when I’d get so caught up in my head with what to say, that I’d end up not saying anything. This was a while back when I was starting out, but is something the majority of guys go through when they’re mastering how to get good with girls. The best thing you can do, is read/listen to/watch something, but for the time you spend learning it, spend 3 times that going out and practicing it in field. So if you spend an hour reading something, spend 3 hours going out and practicing it. When I got to the point where I felt like I’d come ‘full circle’ you realise that 75% (if not more) is not what you say, but what’s going on elsewhere. E.g. Your sub-communications such as your voice tonality, posture, body language, eye contact, how you carry yourself etc. and the mindset you’re going out with. Of course you can’t be spitting boring ass shit at the girl, but for example, a guy learning this stuff with 50 routines saved on his phone/written on a sheet in his back pocket and trying to remember them all with the mindset of ‘I hope I don’t fuck up’, or a guy that has two or three things he’s learnt that he’s gonna practice, and has the mindset of ‘I’m gonna go have fun with this’. Who’s gonna 1. Learn more from doing it a bit at a time, and 2. Have more fun doing it?
You have to do it one step at a time, like Braddock says – ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time’. In other words, you can’t expect to learn everything there is on this one day, and wake up the next day with girls falling on your dick, it’s a game that you get better at bit by bit. Somedays you get major breakthroughs, somedays you get blown out of every set you open, you’re always learning. Thing is, it’s all good learning from material you can get your hands on, but going out and practicing, you get instant feedback of what works and what doesn’t, and the best learning materials we have are real-world results.
Like I say, after hanging out with naturals and seeing them first hand, as well as getting their perspective on what works and what doesn’t, they just do it and learn from going out and doing it rather than worrying what to say, they go out and find out what works themselves. They don’t treat it like work, they don’t stress about what to say, they go out and have fun.
Point I’m gonna end this on is don’t treat mastering this area of your life as work, treat it as a new game that you look forward to playing. Go out & have fun with it, and instead of trying to get good at opening, teasing, takeaways, disqualifying, transitioning, qualifying, escalating, closing, same night lays etc. all in one night, put the puzzle together one piece at a time. More importantly, don’t put so much emphasis on the result, work on the skillset, not the outcome.