April 18, 2024

17 July 09

Daxx’s Adventures

Some more statues that cracked me up –

Your name…

– has decided he is going to do (something shitty you would never do) on the 7th of never. – is pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have done. – heard this lady say ‘I love kids’… and I thought, that’s nice, kinda weird though. It’s like saying ‘I love people, for a while’.

– thinks every fight is a food fight if you’re a cannibal.

– wonders how fast a zebra would have to run for it to look gray. – is invoking rules to get out of doing things I don’t want to do. – denies responsibility for any incident(s) he doesn’t want to remember. – thinks the rules have a loophole. That loophole is called alcohol. God bless it. – thinks the worst time to get amnesia is on halloween. – was at the bank today, and on a door there was a sign that said ‘This door must remain closed at all times’. It was then when I realised the person who put that sign up was thinking of a wall. – thinks the best place to be when an earthquake hits is in bed with somebody. If timed right, you’d be the biggest stud in the world… ‘How was he?’, ‘He ruined my apartment’. – bought a clock but the big hand broke off. I didn’t want to throw it away so I just added ‘ish’ to the end of every number. – learnt as a kid that having fat friends means no see-saws, only catapults.

Feel free to comment on here with your favourite statuses I wanna hear em!